Hovey Dent, Atty at Law?

So far I've put off writing blog entries in an attempt to refrain from blabbing about fleeting sentiments. I suppose in this respect I am using this as more of a publishing medium than any sort of venting mechanism. That being said, I'd like to spout off about some recent revelations I've had.

Through not so subtle comments from my parents, namely my disillusioned mother, I have begun to realize the gravity of the next stage in my life. I was [finally] accepted to UT Law and will matriculate in the fall-- despite my parents highly advanced (at least in my mind) education, there is now a splitting of paths, so to speak. Whereas they each achieved doctorates and multiple masters degrees, there is no JD gene in my lineage. No longer have they "been there, done that"...I'm on my own now. I have a cousin who is an attorney in California, but I'm not sure I've ever met him...if I have I don't remember (did he have a ponytail?).

My identity is inescapably tied to my family and heritage. Despite being thoroughly educated, my parents have equally significant experience picking cotton and produce under the hot sun around the country. (By way of contrast to the current state of affairs, many migrant farmworkers like my parents were American citizens with their rights dismissed by a biggoted economy-- they were not Mexican citizens in the least).

Not including a few outliers, the fact of the matter is that my family is not wealthy, and as such, has limited access to opportunities historically denied to CITIZENS based on unchangeable attributes. Access can be changed, however, and because of this I am very grateful for programs designed to offset the unfair rigor of the offset class system. I'll save a defense of such programs for another entry.

This afternoon I'll be attending "Texas State Senator Rodney Ellis' reception honoring UT Law Admitted minority students." I nearly flipped my desk at the opportunity! The good-ol-boy system of patronage has finally been extended to include non "good old boys." Now, despite my utter jubilee over what this sort of event means, I nevertheless began to realize what else it means...what being increasingly included in a privileged class of society [I mean this to be appreciative, not boastful or presumptuous] signifies to those people I'm not taking with me to the other side with supposedly greener grass.

In many images in art and popular culture, we see success among minorities viewed as a sort of "selling out". Characters often become lawyers, play patsy to white superiors, and marry blonde spouses. I'll spare you, reader, of the rantings of my senior thesis: The Elusiveness of Quienes Somos: Idiosynchrasies of Mexican-American Identity in the 20th Century. Damn, even the title is a rant. I am, however, still confronted with the question: have I finally reached the point where my career or education would prompt assumptions about my own "authenticity" or "loyalty" to my brown skin?

First of all, it doesn't wash off. Whoopi Goldberg was famous for her recollections of trying to wash the black off her skin--to no avail, of course. Similarly, the history and culture in which my soul is thoroughly saturated will not simply disappear because I take some classes or make more money. I will always be how I am, and I pray that I am never compelled to renounce or deny any of it for professional gain. It would be truly unfortunate for the person looking to put me in such a position and themselves in one much more precarious.

I grew up with poor parents, and thanks to Him they were graced with minds and work ethics to achieve astounding levels of education. But this education did not equate to unfettered opportunities or levels of pay. As such, it did not shatter the rigor of class-based exclusion...not even for my immediate family. We used to eat meals that seemed to undergo some sort of metamorphosis after they arrived from the food pantry. My parents have truly come a long way. I hope I can achieve some pathetic semblance of their great strides.

There are those, shall we say "haters" (apparently some sort of colloquialism) who aim to detract from such strides. They make claims of inauthenticity and abandonment, as if a newly acquired subsumption into a higher tax bracket invalidates the way in which they know me. There are those who DO abandon their selves in favor of a mainstream identity-- that is their choice, but I cannot justify that to myself. I will always be Javi and none of you should worry about losing me to any other "preferred" group. My friends will always be my friends, my skin will always be brown, and my heart where it presently sits. fin.